4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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