So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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