Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
