i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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