I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
