Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
