ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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