According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
