and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
