I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize