people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
the raccoons are back...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
