bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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