Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
