she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
