it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Less talking, more tequila
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
