Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I want to fling myself into the sun
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
