And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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