I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
