What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
