4 words: hood of his car
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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