Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
ttyl tear gas
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
