When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize