she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
