sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
cat food counts as protein by the way
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
