I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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