I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
