how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize