Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
nutella sex= disaster
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
