All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize