dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
