I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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