if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
