Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
