my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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