come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
