Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
