$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
