Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
