I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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