he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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