Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just forgot I was standing up.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
