dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
