Non-Jews are for practice
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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