She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
