I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
