sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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