fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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