I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
