ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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