Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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