yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
