Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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