I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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