remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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