i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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