I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
