Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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