She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
