I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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