You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He better not be in your backpack
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
