Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh god it's open bar.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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