OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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