quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
