Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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