WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
