I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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